You say that you want to change?Release yourself from the chains? Free your mind from the pain? Release your body from the strain? Then why does this plague you so? What does it benefit you if you choose to not let it go? What peace could you know ? Have you asked yourself these questions? Have you learned these lessons? Or are you still waiting to answer them?
I realized the petrichor coming from the night before….
A long weekend, celebrating the exact thing that we have no choice but to do. I realized the petrichor coming from the night before, a light faint rain left a mild scent on this humid day. I spent time with the one I love, trying to avoid the sun while barbecuing and enjoying this unwelcoming heat. In my mind I am constantly reminded of the next chapter of my life and career but I am finishing my current one. I wish that I could bypass these few pages because I am tired of the incompetence of the mundane day that affects me from 9am-6pm.
However, I understand that it can’t happen over night so I am patient and prayerful hoping that it soon will come to fruition in my life. Being confident in what the day could bring because there are others worse off than I. Although, there are many other journeys I could’ve traveled I believe that God places us on the path that we need to be on in order to grow and overcome the obstacles that will arise. How can we have a testament if we have never been through a test? Happy Labor Day…
What is your definition of success?
Each day I wake up with a new idea, a new dream, and aspiration only to realize that just like leaves on a tree they all blow and wither away. Am I not thinking hard enough or trying hard enough. Or maybe it’s my dreams, maybe they aren’t good enough maybe I’m trying to achieve something that just isn’t for me. Could it be? Could it be that all this time I was just living in the clouds about my abilities and talents. I wonder, I wonder if I’m really mean to do great things or am I just great at mediocrity. For real! Have you ever asked yourself the same questions? What were your answers? I don’t know maybe this liquor has me feeling a way, has caught up in my feelings as I long for hope and a place to stay. Wanting someone to believe in me and to take my words as truth and light to see my ideas and invest in me with time and patience. To understand that I’m just trying to make a living, just trying to find the way or could it be that this is the way. Too many glasses of this cheap chardonnay has me feeling as if I could live for centuries and die in days. Can I? Will it let me? Will I be able to escape this mundane existence I’ve created for myself, locked away in an office everyday typing away about people’s lives that are more exciting than mine. People who actually achieved things and who get paid for it, people who climb mountains and have seen seas. While I sit here hoping to achieve the same, what is hope? What is hope if I can’t bring it to fruition, If I can’t swim the sea, If I can’t–I just cant! I can’t do anything but sip this wine and think of the dream never realized, what type of life is this to live in this office everyday, glancing at people who have no sympathy. They don’t care about the things that bother me. They don’t understand me! What success have I achieved if all I do is interview people about the exciting shit they do?! None. That’s the answer, then I think to myself, ” I really look crazy right now, talking to this glass of wine”. But oh well.